Madre and A Taste of Home

I would like to share my remarkable journey with a woman whom I called "Mammina" and she called me, "Nabiloski". So, you know where the name was coming from. Three years ago, I lived in Italy as an exchange student with AFS Intercultural Programs. Some students might be familiar with their host city, some might not, and I am qualified as the second one. I never knew what kind of city in a host country I would live in, until I came to a small “isolated” area called the city of Longarone. It is a town and commune on the riverbanks of the Piave in the province of Belluno, Veneto, Northeast Italy.  

The De Pellegrini Family welcomed me well and treated me as if I were their biological little daughter. I lived only with Papà Aurelio and Mamma Linda while my host brother Tommaso and two host sisters, Anna, and Irene, were living away for work-purpose. Beginning my journey with them is the most incredible thing I have ever had. They broke the stereotypes I had, that Europeans were cold and exclusive.  

On my arrival day, I feared everything. I was anxious when I knew that my host parents do not speak English, nor do they understand the language aside from Italian.  

While still processing what is going on, Mamma Linda came to my room and gave me a hand-written letter right on the third day after my arrival. And this is the original version of the letter: "It is true: everything is so different from Indonesia, and it is a challenging time. But I think when you can notice the appearances, you can see that human emotions are similar, and human-ness” joins the world." 

It was indeed deep words for me, it became my support system to overcome all the difficulties in the phase of experiencing the “culture shock.” We might have differences with people from other parts of the world, but as humans, we have the same emotions. That is why I adore every single story that comes from a human.  

Every dinner my host parents and I spent two hours sharing stories and as it seems, it is indeed our way to bond. The talk, the energy, the love was all put together while enjoying the served meals. A theatrical display of food and warmth. During that time, I usually stayed quiet and listened to Mamma Linda's stories. She told me everything, her love-life stories, history, mountains, climbing, hiking, yes, my host parents are nature lovers. 

She always started with the words, "Ecco la storia Nabila."  

Mamma Linda was worried about me. One day when the cold of winter sucked me in Falcade, Papà Aurelio's hometown. I asked Mamma Linda, "Why did you want to host me?" 

There was a moment of silence she replied, "I was curious about Asia and Islam. I thought you were a close-minded person. But I was wrong, you are really different from the majority of Muslimah in Italy." 

I stunned.

Mamma Linda worried about me. She feared that I might find someone bad or just rude, that people treated me bad because of the fabric that I am wearing to cover my head. But see? I was safe. 

One of my favorite topics with Mammina was talking about immigrants living in Italy. "In Italy things are not easy for those who arrive like this. They never agreed to give them a residence permit as a political refugee." 

"Racism in Italy is more dangerous than a snake, because we are convinced that we are good and that we do not hurt anyone, but that is not the case. Justice is not the same for everyone, it is truly little equal especially if one has no money and does not know how to speak well and is black, Arabic, or Indian, in short unique way."  

Neighbors around the house thought my host parents were crazy by letting an African stay in their house. But they were surprised too with my host parents and how they were being so open to the world, and host some AFS students like me. One day a neighbor told me, "Impossible if you're not okay with them, Nabila, they both are kind-hearted people," I laughed and agreed with what she said. 

Every single moment with the De Pellegrini Family really interested me. 

We are talking about humanity, and it is undoubtedly so inspiring to see how people relate to across cultures and conversations arising from our journey to find a piece of good stories in the world we live in. I think of my Iraqi friend, Latin Americans friends, black people and every other person and their tragedies. This story might be an exclusive story. But here I am, I want people to know this story, amid the anxiety and crisis that we hear every day. Sometimes we all need a reminder; that there still is hope with kindness that lies within.  

As we all are with our various cultures in the modern world, we need to stay together, just like what anthropologist Ruth Benedict said, to make the world safe for human differences.  

"I don't know what to say. What we did as a family may have served to make people think about this, but I do not think so... It is nice that they are there, because hopefully you are going to change the world. Then politicians and the selfish mentality of people disarms you. So, keep doing good things la mia piccolina Nabiloski." Since then, every small thing matters, even just smiling to other human beings. We are all human. Kindness is endless. 

Auguri di buon compleanno, Ma.