I still remember vividly, a year ago I was in the tranquil embrace of Ubud, Bali, the canvas of my memories painted a vibrant tableau of joy and connection. The ethereal beauty of Campuhan Ridge Walk unfolded before us as Lena Sailer, a cherished AFS friend separated by oceans for half a decade, graced my world. Together, we chose a glamorous café perched at the summit, its panoramic view a backdrop for the spectacle of New Year's Eve fireworks. The air was filled with melodies of shared songs, and in the rhythmic sway of our bodies, we danced beneath the star-studded Balinese sky. It was not just the turning of the year; it was the celebration of friendship rekindled, a symphony of shared memories echoing across the landscape.
Returning to Jogja after two weeks of fascination and yet a tiring vacation marked as a yearning to embrace my final semester of university. I meticulously rearranged the fragments of my days, conscious of the ticking clock and the symphony of deadlines, obligations, errands, daily prayers, meals, snacks too, health, moods, projects, rest, social energy battery, each contributing to the opus of my one-year plan; to graduate from university and step into the realm of professional world.
Throughout first half of the year,
I had such an enjoyable routine. I went regularly to Bellina Studio twice to three times a week for zumba, pilates, or yoga after such tiring days of writing my thesis. I had my favorite coffee from some cafes in town and ate a cheap pecel that close to my kost for breakfast. However, that doesn’t mean there weren’t bad times and unpleasant times in between. There are days that I like staying in bed just a little too much sometimes, getting stuck and not knowing what I am doing and having no progress on my thesis writing journey in some days.
I also took a meditation class for two intensive days to re-learn what feelings are, my relationship with people in the past years and let go of anger, sadness, frustration, jealousy, regret, so on and so forth. That was my way to define my fulfillment which ultimately led me to one of my targets in 2023 by graduating on time right in the middle of the year. At the time, I was not alone–I had a super fun and yet challenging journey with my boyfriend. He had the same struggle to finish his seven-year journey of university. He finally could make it possible a month after. We celebrated it simply by escaping to Bogor for a one day trip and had dinner at Warung Sunda with delicious and spicy sambals!
On the next half-year journey,
My real break time after finishing my thesis defense was going to Jakarta for KL-YES Reorientation, reunited with my AFS Friends and came back to Jogja 4 days after to manage another Binabud Program, NSLI-Y 2023! I had such a blessed 6 weeks with 16 lovely US Students and Binabud Jogja volunteers even though there was a non-stop working and still managing team for Muktamar IPM, my days were blissful with them! They are truly my little brothers and sisters that made my day, joking and seeing them growing and learning was very satisfying and makes me full. Until the day they had to leave, I still didn't feel like letting them go because I was still organizing lunches and making sure they got to the airport on time. That moment marked my first job after finishing my thesis.
Days seemed non-stop moving 🌼I was breathing without pause. I spent the last half of August after the cohort came back to the States by going to Medan, enjoyed every piece and taste of Sumatra for the last biggest event of IPM. I was waiting for this time to come. Despite that, I escaped with my beloved sister Nadhifah right four hours after we just landed. We rented a motorbike to Tangkahan, to meet Sumatran Elephants! Everyone said we were very crazy, we don’t even stay in Tangkahan for the whole day but still, it was an exciting journey; bathing the elephant, talking to them like they listen to us, taking pictures with the baby and parents of elephant, breathing the fresh air of Sumatran forest and knowing how it feels live in a peaceful place with no much of modernization coming. Rethinking about that time, I have a profound appreciation for myself for having the courage to take this great journey.
In the same month, I also have my graduation. My graduation kebaya is the one I’ve been dreaming of for a long time with the colors that are still my favorite shades of white and red, No rent. And cheap make-up ahahaha. I finally had a family portrait in the old building areas of my uni. Another thing that made my heart full was having a photo session with my boyfriend in a dream corner of every couple from UGM. Same thing happened when I went to his graduation, covered with shades of blue and a bouquet of flowers. Thank you Kak for making it real anyway :”) 💕
Looking at the time, a dozen volunteering, project, organization, research and student jobs combined. Those were like a thousand pages of capstones. I learned that, I valued myself and was proud of myself the most during the most unexpected moments.
I am beyond grateful for my university life. And life after that was like jumping into the woods and so hard to build up the courage to rise. I was trying to navigate and learn how to make a new route and a map of my future. Right after graduation, I spent a month living in the eastern part of Java assisting a migrant workers research project, it was my very first time doing fieldwork. All I can say is that everything is not easy; risking your days and all your senses to be constantly lit up to the conditions around you and giving up your private time for the surroundings. It was a time when my four years of studying anthropology were tested and questioned by a very tough and smart Asian-American woman. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to listen to stories and explore unexpected social puzzles every day.
After returning I then crafted again what I wanted to do in the next phase of life, it was not easy. “Everything seems so blurry even now,” my anxiety told me. Still, all I know is that I need to keep trying and learning something new every day✨. Not stopping with every passing moment I tried to apply for numerous jobs while still indulging with many activities such as yoga or any other sport to make me sane. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle and boundaries, those also have become one of favorite topics with my boyfriend. We both realize that everything is nothing when lacking bodily. Every other aspect of our body. Everything on our mind will be manifested on our body whether we see it or you see with your mind. That fruitful conversation has immensely supported me throughout my life journey afterward such as having multiple morning routines which accommodates different moods, having a simple basic routine which allows for modification when necessary, and building something that feels right for me.
I was looking back at all the little scribbles I’ve shared here on this space and realized wow.. I made a lot of things in my life! In a way, I’m glad for the honesty that led me towards moving and being active to pour anything in this space. Life is a matter of process, where two steps forward may sometimes come with one step back, as well as one or more steps to the right or left. I want to live out of joy and love too, I want to embrace a slower rhythm and feel free 😗✌️ I will turn 25-years-old this year, and hopefully I will be excited to be one with my future self. Maybe this year is a rebirth, a call to home, a new way of living 🌻
Love always,
Adinta
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