a man in my gallery

In every second of my life, I learn to be who I am. I learn to love myself and my surroundings without doubt, as well as learn how to be loved. 

It’s been more than a year since I learned to define my feelings, toward a man that sticks around me for every little path that I took. This is a new kind of thing that indeed helped me to get out of a nightmare about a hopeless-romantic-life. I do realize that this is such a wistful thing among other parts of my life (haha).

After quite a miserable journey, I couldn’t be more grateful for getting to this point. I then borrow these words from a caption that I found on Instagram–thank you to this man who came waltzing into my life and made it significantly less lonely and infinitely more bearable. 

I love to borrow words from people: songs, movies, and any kind of writing that communicates my feelings better than I ever will. Before meeting you, I’ve always loved listening to love songs, especially when it comes from “Michael Bublé-To Be Loved & To Love Somebody” or “Carpenters-Love is Surrender”, reading romance novels, as a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic myself. I often wondered how it feels to live those stories, from the simplest narrative to a full-blown saga, will I ever get to experience them? Is it even possible and not just dumb daydreaming?

The answer is: absolutely not (ha-ha-ha).

After meeting you, it does not only sound dumb and unrealistic but I got offered something better. A beautifully imperfect relationship with all its glory and ugly. A chance to have a partner, I just need to not mess up. Yet whenever I messed up, you were always ready with open arms for me. As if you too want to make it work, you too want me. And that's how I know I'm living in my daydream, where the slight difference is that it is not perfect, but as long as we both put in the effort to stay with each other, that's better than anything I could dream of. 

Ridiculously smart yet funny, you are an exceptional conversationalist, and I was always amused by your playfulness and serenity while I am fiery on some occasions. Even though it would never be easy to take this journey. I would always thank the universe to let me come into this world in the right time. Thank you for anything, from sending such lovely words, joking while I am in a bad mood, to every quick recap through whatsapp calls before starting or finishing the day. These all make my day. Haha

I do agree with Maudy Ayunda about what love was supposed to feel like: pure, effortless, and full of life.

Because, to love is to surrender, Carpenters said.

Cheers to many more to come🎉🥳♥