As a stubborn yet disciplined person, I have transformed into a new version of myself—a newborn woman. I’ve faced many trials and errors in this sleight-of-hand magic we call life. If life gives you lemons, I would definitely turn them into a cake, drizzled with kecombrang nectar and paired with a hand of V60 coffee, to be enjoyed in the tiny, old room I rent in Bandung, a city where I spent half of this year.
I never expected to live in Bandung for exactly six months and two weeks. I am grateful for every gift you gave me—from the cakes, cookies, and cranberries to bowls of smoothies, cozy café corners, cimol bojot, and the yard of @soula.leuit in Ciumbeleuit, where I practiced yoga on Saturday mornings. I cherished the old houses in the ITB area, owned by professors, which I passed by on my daily walks to the office. I’ve never doubted the tranquility and fresh air of this place.
These little moments definitely made my life better.
And yet, 2024 is pushing me in new directions, urging me to find new routes, ones both familiar and distant from what I had imagined. I still remember vividly the times when people asked me where I was, and where I would go next. My automatic response was always, “I don’t know—I’m just giving a shot to everything,” followed by a little laugh. I was pretending to be okay.
If this year were divided into three chapters, the first third would be all about collecting the "bullets" to face life’s challenges: moving back to Yogyakarta, scheduling my days to study for the IELTS, applying to one or two jobs a day, continuing my volunteer work for AFS Jogja, and working on whatever came my way. None of my mornings started without a gasp. The first third was tough, not only for me but also for my partner, who was also navigating his own path. We nearly cracked.
In the second third, however, I decided to accept a job offer I had thought I failed at. They had told me there would be no response in two weeks if I hadn’t been selected—but a month later, they reached out and offered me the position. God must have whispered in their ears. I moved to Bandung and negotiated to start in mid-May, thanks to an unexpected surprise from AFS Indonesia to join a fellowship in China! A reason behind delaying the job. Very thankful for AFS existing on earth.
I had never imagined traveling abroad again after my exchange year in 2018. I had planned to extend my stay and visit Hong Kong to meet two AFS friends: Miranda, whom I met in Veneto, Italy, and Fadhi, the captain of the AFS Indonesia-to-Italy squad. Those moments of reconnecting with old friends and discovering more of myself through travel were blissful. But life, as always, is a two-sided blade. During that time, I was also in a state of hopelessness about my romantic life—thankfully, we managed to work things out when I was in Bandung. Thank you to Mukhtara Rama for making countless attempts to visit me on that day, even if we ended up staying up until 4 AM. It was the hardest and most nerve-wracking conversation of the year.
By the final chapter of this year, I’d title it "A Random Card Game"—because that’s what life felt like. I often took cards without knowing the rules, trusting only God’s guidance. I settled into a routine: working during the weekdays, trekking or doing yoga on weekends, and visiting my family and friends in Pamulang and Temanggung. In September, I turned 25, feeling lazy and bored as I stared at my laptop screen at the office. Then, a notification appeared on my phone: "Annual Notice of Funding Opportunity."
I jumped up, nearly shouting out loud. My co-workers were shocked.
All the trials and errors from 2023 finally paid off, and I found myself with a team I never expected. This opportunity became a breakthrough moment, not only for my life but also for my friendship with Alfreda Fathya, which has grown since we were a pair of IPM chairpersons in junior high school more than 10 years ago. Together, we have learned and reflected on the values taught by our beloved teacher, Umi Unnik. What does life mean to us and the people around us?
Our jokes have become a reality in adult life, and I’m grateful for the connections I’ve nurtured over the years. This year, I’ve embraced deeper connections—with my body, with the people I care about, and through the small things I do: cooking, practicing yoga, returning home, dating my partner, or simply relaxing in a café with a cup of brewed coffee. I am just hoping 2025 brings more time for travel and writing, and that the coffee tastes just as good as it was in this year.
Temanggung, 27-28 December 2024
